June 5, 2013

How to Get in Shape, Southern Style


I must have been living under a rock because apparently I'm the last person to see this. I mean, I'll admit that it's kind of a silly video...but it still has nothing on the fitness habits I learned growing up in the south. 

It looks like the video is set in Florida, but there's no way the lady is a southerner. First of all, her accent sounds like she is from the North. Another reason I know she isn't southern is that if she were, she'd be dressed in a leopard print jogging suit made of parachute material. A southern lady would have her pocketbook with her and might also be Prancercising to "What a Friend we have in Jesus" instead of the current song. 

My great-grandma, a staunch Freewill Baptist minister's wife who never wore pants or owned a television, used to start every morning with a little cardio. Lying on her back in bed, she'd throw her legs up in the air repeatedly, "taking her exercise" as she hollered 'Hip-hoo' over and over again.

She also liked to brag that she could plow a field better than any man and had hands so strong, she could take a'hold of her grown brother Clarence and flip him over her head.  

My dad's mom kept fit on a steady diet of ginger ale and Kent Golden Light Kings, bought by the carton. 

One summer when I was staying with my grandparents, I spent an entire rainy afternoon dancing up and down their sidewalk with an umbrella, performing Broadway show tunes in costume. If there'd been a YouTube in 1990, I'd have gone viral. 

So if Prancercising makes you happy, I say go for it. But don't wear white shoes after Labor Day no matter what.