June 26, 2017

Fashion Articles I Might Actually Read

All my life, I've had a love-hate relationship with magazines. There's nothing more exhilarating than getting a new one, glossy and filled with perfume samples under their little flaps, and information like 7 Steps to a Better You, TODAY! My taste in magazines has changed over the years, and I suppose this is normal, but the intensity of my love-hated for them has not waned.

As a kid, I got Highlights, which taught me to be a Gallant, not a Goofus. Then, for a period I read The American Girl Catalog, pining always over Molly, the only doll I could identify with (she had glasses don't you see?).

From there, I shifted my focus to Teen, Sassy, YM, and Seventeen. I learned how to flirt, what to wear on a first date, and whether my guy best friend was in fact a Dawson or a Pacey. Then Cosmo Girl and Teen People. Finally, Vogue, Marie Claire and W, which gave me my first real taste of the high fashion world. I was convinced I'd have Anna Wintour's job one day and even typed up and mailed a letter telling her so.

As a senior in high school, I considered myself quite the fashionista. I experimented with styles like cut-off boyfriend jean-turned capris, pre-Man Repeller, but repelling men all the same. I also wore a dress over a pair of pants, which I considered to be quite avant garde for my small-town high school in the late 1990s.

As I got even older, my magazine reading habits shifted away from the fashion titles and more toward home-centric subject matter. Better Homes & Gardens, Real Simple, Domino and such.

But I still want to be plugged in to the world of fashion. Sometimes, I just don't feel like there's a place for me. I'm too old for the trendy 20-something clothes, too young for the boring 40-something clothes, too particular for the cheap, fast fashion crap and too broke for Eileen Fisher.

Maybe you've felt the same way? Fashion magazines are supposed to be aspirational, and I get that, but why do they often leave me feeling worse about myself? Hence the hate part of my love-hate relationship.

I was considering this while washing dishes recently. I started thinking about how many articles in fashion magazines I skip right over because I just don't have the energy to give myself a pep talk afterward.

I think that's why I've moved into mags about home. Home magazines don't seem to bring the same shame that fashion mags do. Buying a new lamp or a punchy accent rug seems more attainable, no matter what size pants I might be wearing.

So, fashion editors, if you are listening, here are some articles that I might actually read.

10 Pants that Don't Give You a FUPA (look it up)
3 Shoes that Don't Make Me Cry After Wearing them All Day (And Also Don't Make Me Look Like a Grandma at the Grand Canyon)
5 Cute Shirts that Hide Back Fat
How to Shop at Thrift Stores and Look like you Shop at Bergdorfs
Outfits for Family Holiday Functions that will Probably Be Super Stressful
What to Wear to Church When You Haven't Been in a Long Time
Up-Dos that Don't Make You Look like a Member of a Gospel Singing Group
Outfits to Wear right after your ex Denied your Facebook friend request

Help a girl out, mkay?