March 5, 2012

Talk Southern to Me, part 2

texas farmhouse
It’s been awhile since I blogged about southern sayings, so I decided today would be a fine time to share some old favorites and see if you have any good ones to add to the list. I collected and compiled these over the years, and credit several southern wordsmiths as sources. While I might not completely understand the proper usage for every single one of them, each makes me smile.
Some are simply expressions to describe a particular person or situation:
  • Crazier than a sh** house rat
  • Busier than a one-legged man at an a** kicking contest
  • He's only got one oar in the water (crazy?)
  • He could thread a sewing machine and it a runnin' (my personal favorite....don't we all know somebody this nervous and high strung?)
  • His bread ain't buttered on both sides
  • Useless as teats on the boar hog
  • Busy as stink
  • Old as Cooter Brown (variation Cootie Brown)
  • Pretty as a speckled pup
  • He’s as tight as Dick’s hatband (means he is cheap)
  • They was in high cotton, but they got moved to the hind teat (things were going well, but now they aren’t anymore)
  • He ain’t got a pot to pee in (very poor)
  • As slow as molasses in January
  • As cold as kraut
  • Brown as toast, brown as a biscuit, or brown as a hoecake (the few times in my life I’ve ever had a tan, I loved receiving this compliment)
  • As full as a tick, about to pop (when you’ve eaten too much)
  • Grinning like a possum eating a sweet tater
  • She looks like death warmed over (she isn’t looking well)
  • That girl’s just a fart in the wind

Others offer a word of advice:

  • If you're going to hoot with the owls, you've got to soar with the eagles
  • Hoe your own row
  • Many hands make light work
  • When cows start flying, you've just gotta shoot 'em (referring to a cow that constantly gets over or through a fence....also a new fave of mine!)
  • You'll lose a crop that way 
  • If you sleep with dogs, you'll wake up with fleas
  • Tell the truth and shame the devil
  • If you run with trash, you're gonna smell like it
  • Don’t mess and gom (as in “I’ve just cleaned the whole house so you better not mess and gom in there”)
  • No matter how thin you slice it, there’s two sides to everything
  • The best way to go fast is to go slow
  • Don’t sell your mule to buy a plow
  • If you don’t straighten up, I’ll jerk a knot in your tail

Still others just offer a random sentiment:

  • In for a dime, in for a dollar
  • It’s never cost what it’s worth (referring to alcoholic beverages…cracks me up!)
  • Some drive a Cadillac, some drive a Ford, some ride a donkey and swat it with a board, but they all get where they’re going eventually
This list is by no means complete, so feel free to add your favorite southern sayin’ in the comments! Happy Monday friend!